An about face(book), for real this time

OK, so I was wrong, but I'm not too proud to admit it. Not nearly as bad as the Microsoft Chief Technology Officer who asserted in 1994 that the internet would only ever be the domain of "hobbyists".

Here are the tandard eight or so reasons:

1. Since my original Salt in Wound posting on this topic, 2/3 of my household has joined, and they seem the richer for it.

2. My son gets to spend time chatting with his school friends without the need to be transported around. Lest you think this leads to less personal contact, I think it has actually enhanced it - he has already used Facebook to organize a movie outing and a ski trip.

3. It is saving me money. My son has stopped asking for $50 Wii games. In fact, he's pretty much stopped playing them.

4. My various privacy and nuisance concerns, valid at the time of posting, seem to have been addressed by recent upgrades.

5. Facebook has killed Salt in Wound. Let's face it, Jack Silbert is pretty much single-handedly keeping this afloat, but more people would read his posts if he just put them on his own Facebook page. Blogging may turn out to be the CB radio of the '00s.

6. Micaela showed me where 3/4 of the Vehicle Flips first album lineup were chatting about the lime green ice skating figuring lamps that Jeff bought in Northampton back in 1994. Hey guys, what about me?

7. Somewhere I had the idea that Facebook had the qualities of MySpace, which remains one of the ugliest interfaces I have ever encountered. About this, I was way off.

8. The Gazetteers have a Facebook page that I didn't even know about, with 150 friends (Rob probably told me, but I forgot). There are several serious ironies here: one, at most only about 10 of these so-called friends ever actually went ahead and freely downloaded our latest album. Second, several people used this forum to implore me to get a Facebook page. That wasn't a good way to reach me. What this tells me is that people aren't even bothering to visit old-school web sites anymore.

An About Face(book)

All right, all right, I've heard all the arguments, but it was finally the power of advertising that convinced me to join Facebook.

Right now my sole friend is Clorox.

Ten Reasons You Haven't Spotted Me On Facebook

1. The indispensability of Facebook is greatly overblown. Off the top of my head, I know that my brother, sister-in-law, son, mother-in-law, father-in-law, next-door neighbor and work supervisor don't have accounts and none are likely to anytime soon. To reach any of these people, I either have to take a very short walk or pick up the phone. None of these people seem to be unduly suffering as a result.

2. My social networks fit into fairly distinct compartments. There are close family, not-so-close family, music friends, orienteering friends, work friends, college friends, grad school friends, faculty friends, neighbors. Mixing them all together would be completely incoherent. (If there are ways to create different access levels so that content is visible to some kinds of friends and not others, then this may not be an issue. But I have not heard any reference to this feature).

3. The thought of being contacted by someone who sat two seats over from me in geometry class in the 1980s holds no appeal whatsoever.

4. I am already easy to locate on the web. Having a unique name helps. Pleasantly, this has not resulted in my being contacted by anyone from my geometry class, and I think it's because of the slight extra effort required to do so.

5. Facebook fosters an annoying bit of innumeracy, namely: as the number of accounts approaches the size of the population, the entire population must therefore belong. Instead, it seems to me that most new accounts are for products, businesses, events, and multiple accounts maintained by the same person, perhaps as a way of dealing with #2 above.

6. My band did have a MySpace page, but having my content surrounded by blinking ads for weight-loss products was so depressing I soon stopped logging in. Maybe Facebook doesn't have any blinking ads, but how could it not?

7. I'm optimistic that eventually, never having been on Facebook will make me an object of envy.

8. A friend of mine was telling me about her Facebook experience - how she connected with an old college friend who broadcasts frequent and detailed updates of, among other things, everything she eats, but how it would be rude to "unfriend" her.

9. The Dear Prudence advice column (to cite but one example) is filled with stories of people who have decided to mess up their lives and their families' lives by deciding to try and reconnect with their prom dates.

10. My job entails fair amounts of data-crunching, database programming, writing scientific articles, and communicating with co-workers by email. All of these things involve typing while looking at a lit screen. When I get home, I seek out - even crave - activities that do not involving typing while looking at a lit screen.

Oh, Those Connor Girls!

I'll admit it: For the past five years, I have been obsessed with social networking. First it was Friendster, and then MySpace, and now Facebook. And somewhere along the way, through overseas friends, I've signed up for hi5 and Bebo. Some of these sites have been infiltrated with fictional women, perhaps connected to porn websites or mail-order-bride operations. And of course these spam-generated "women" prey on men who list themselves as single.

It had been a while since I last checked in at hi5. But today, an e-mail notified me that I'd received a friend request from "Daisy Blaire." I clicked through, not thinking that I might actually know Daisy Blaire, but, oh come on...I'm writing this blog post on a Friday night; I obviously have some free time on my hands.

Lo and behold, I had 16 friend requests waiting for me on hi5! And I'd like you to meet 8 of them (pictured above, left to right, top to bottom):

• Erica Connor, requested Mar 6, 2008 4:30 PM

• Whitney Connor, requested Mar 7, 2008 10:42 AM

• Angela Connor, requested Mar 9, 2008 5:07 PM

• Lindsey Connor, requested Mar 17, 2008 5:01 PM

• Julia Connor, requested Mar 29, 2008 1:44 AM

• Trix Connor, requested Mar 31, 2008 4:57 AM

• A different Erica Connor, requested Apr 3, 2008 6:44 PM

• And last but not least, a different Angela Connor, requested Apr 6, 2008 10:10 AM

I don't know how to put this, Erica, and Whitney, and Angela, and Lindsey, and Julia, and Trix, and other Erica, and yes, even you, other Angela, so I'm just going to speak from the heart. I want to be friends with each of you. Who knows, maybe our friendship could develop into "something more" if we take things slow. But if I accept only one of you, I risk hurting the others. And if I accept you all, it might just tear the Connor household apart. And that I simply cannot do. I trust that you'll find happiness, Connors, in some kind of Eight Brides for Eight Brothers sort of deal. But it's not going to happen with Team Silbert.