Promoting Your Blog

After photographing the traffic cone the other day, my eye was drawn to a Post-It note affixed to the light pole. The Post-It note advertised Proscar® (finasteride), currently the leading medication to shrink one's prostate. There is questionable marketing value for any drug that appears to be promoting scarring, but I believe the name was a portmanteau formation of PROSTATE + NASCAR. Written on the Post-It note in shaky, loopy cursive was the message: "Go to allreligions.blogspot.com. You will be benefitted (sic)".

Unfortunately, I failed to take a close-up photograph, and the blog name that I remembered does not seem to exist. When I went back the Post-It note was gone. I believe they are only rated for 5 mph wind shear, enough to handle most office environments, but not the outdoors.

Overall, an unsuccessful promotional effort in so many ways.

UPDATES

Time for some updates on your most pressing unresolved Salt in Wound topics!


So how did that spelling bee turn out?


Did I mention that the previous one - the one I won - was held at a hipster bar? By 2008 adult spelling bees had become passé, replaced by Guitar Hero contests.

How about the trip to Estonia?

I have it all planned out, but I have yet to make any actual reservations. I've concluded that Estonian will be an impossible language to pick up over the next 4 months, and that I'm not nearly as good at the sport of rogaining as I thought I would be. Last place is a very distinct possibility. Should still be fun, though.


Has Keenan gotten to hear any Backstreet Boys tunes yet?


No. I was able to tell him they were quite literally just a swindle.


Did anyone ever pick up that sand?


Nope. The other day when no one was home, I sliced open the bags and shoveled all the sand into an inconspicuous spot amongst the brambles, from whence it came.


What about the traffic cone?


Wait, I haven't posted about the traffic cone yet? That will be my next post, I promise.

But the 15-year-olds will love us!

That's not my opinion... I'm just reporting our scientifically-derived blog rating as calculated here. That puts us a rung above Paris Hilton on the reading level ladder, but, alas, a rung under Perez Hilton.

What can we do about this? I, for one, intend to ameliorate our valuation via articulating my suppositions by the usage of a higher number of obscure, arcane, and enigmatic words.

Oh - have I mentioned that Wikipedia now claims that the Schur multiplier is usually defined as the second homology group of a group G with coefficients in the integers?!? Come on, Wikipedia - give me a break!

A Salt In Wound Game

Lately when I read new posts (not comments, just posts), I keep the name of the author scrolled off the bottom of the screen. When I finish the post I try to guess who wrote it. Frank, your Gazetteers post was easy, but that's because Bernie loaned me your CD's (which I like very much). Chris, I'd thought John had written your Ringo post.

From this point forward, for a little while at least, I intend to comment on every post, saying who I'd thought wrote it. I'll do this until it becomes so obnoxious that I'm asked to stop, or until I get bored. You're welcome to join me!

The State of Salt in Wound

Right now, we have eight registered "posters." Of those, Frank, Robert, Bernie and myself have been posting fairly regularly. Chris has been posting more lately (thanks, Chris!) and Paul teased us (and I hope will tease us again soon). Elizabeth is lurking, waiting for just the right moment (you'd better not be fucking with us, Elizabeth) and Becky clearly has no intention of ever posting. Unfortunately, I can't cut her, because Bernie is a man's name, and then it would look like we only had one woman (when nothing could be further from the truth). We're not losers, and why should it appear that way?

There are currently no invitations to new posters outstanding. I would like to have four or five more, writing on a variety of subjects, preferably from different parts of the country (or world). Robert is here because he's my friend from high school. Frank, Paul, Chris, do any of you have friends from high school or college who'd have something to contribute? If so, have them read a bit, and then, if they're interested, I'll send an invitation. Ken, I can't in good conscience ask you to post about extinct birds in Arkansas until you're done with your dissertation.

We're getting a decent number of hits--it's been growing every week--peaking on the day Bernie forgot to filter me, and I counted myself dozens of times. We don't know who a lot of our readers are, so if you're here and have never commented, please take this chance to say hi.

And if anyone has any suggestions for how things could be done differently, this would be a good thread to put them in.

The Morning Paper

I still subscribe to the local daily newspaper, the Albany Times Union, in spite of (or perhaps because of) its increasingly anachronistic nature. For example, our comics page contains at least five deceased authors: Charles Schulz, Dik Browne, Abigail Van Buren, Bil Keane, and Isaac Asimov (Isaac Asimov's Super Quiz; ironically, today's topic is 'people who died in 2007'). Johnny Hart and Hank Ketcham have only just been replaced, and Mort Walker and Jack Elrod are not long for this earth.

Anyway, as part of an effort to attract a more youthful demographic, the paper has been featuring blog excerpts on the front page of its local section. They are devoid of context and often cryptic, possibly appealing to no one at all. Here is today's excerpt:

"This year, for the first time since I became single, I am going to get a Christmas tree. After all the stuff that's happened the past two months, I need to. Plus, my parents are coming up to my place for Christmas. So, I kind of have to get a tree. I accept right now that I am not going to like this process one bit"

I am sparing you the link.

meta-ing of the minds

While we're disappearing up our own assholes, I wanted to practice doing a link.

A Meta-post

Three things that bug me about blogger, our blog editor/host:

Forced Astrological signs. Take a look at this guys profile. See how it lists his sign(s)? This isn't because the guy believes in astrology, it's because if you want to list your age on your profile, Blogger forces the star sign on you too. So if you see an age in a profile, you'll see the astrological sign too.

What do all the hardcore skeptics do? I haven't searched for a skeptic tag yet, but I'd bet you don't find a single person listing themself as a skeptic who also displays their age. The forced Zodiac sign is why.

No automatic email notification when comments are added to a post. Blogger, if I ask you to, you will automatically send me email when someone else makes a comment to a post after I've made a comment to the same post. Why can't you extend the same privilege to me when I'm the poster? After all, I'm hosting that party. I'm a big boy, Blogger. What is it you're trying to protect me from?

(This isn't about blogger specifically, but still...) The word blog. It's a little better than tofurkey jerkey but way worse than even chunnel, which is saying something. Every time I use it I think it's more suited to a context like I got so drunk last night that I blogged all over Nancy's floor. I hated this word from the start; for a long time I insisted on using the longer, and way more pleasing weblog instead. But I lost that war. Now I use the word, of course, but it still grates.

Feel my red-hot fury.