Mr. Universe

Question from my fifth grade son's math book:

When Arnold Schwarzenegger was named Mr. Universe, he had a chest measurement of 56 ⁷/₈ inches and a waist measurement of 32 ¹/₄ inches. How much larger was his chest than his waist?

(Next to the answer, in the smallest possible writing, he wrote "why do we care?")

Timeshare Math Problem

In a hypothetical timeshare presentation which she in fact studiously avoided, Bernie is offered an amazing opportunity: to purchase a timeshare in the resort in which she is currently staying. For about forty grand, she can have it all, a week in the sun in paradise, or, she can go elsewhere and trade in her week. She gets this week of paradise every year for 45 years, and she can even rent or sell this week, therefore it has value. There is the small issue of maintenence fees, to the tune of about $800 a week for a well-appointed one bedroom apartment. Luxuries abound at this resort...
(airfare not included)

Scenario number two: Bernie goes on Orbitz and gets the same empty timeshare room at same timeshare resort and airfare for a ridiculously low price.

If anyone wants to take the challenge and explain how timeshares can save you money, I'd love to hear it.

The saddest part about this is they're going up everywhere in this area, mangrove lagoons are being drained and paved for the resorts. The birds have less and less habitat to winter in. These men and women fellow guests (and timeshare presentation victims) with their giant sunburned bellies (John likes to call them all 'pregnant men') only want alcohol, a pool, trinkets, and cheap food. I can provide that for them in Illinois, under a giant dome, which they might learn to like. Maybe in this way we can save the birds.

Keno in Reno

I don't care for gambling that much, but when I do gamble I'm well aware of the odds of the games, and I certainly don't have any "lucky feelings" come over me when I'm trying to roll a hard six. Last month, we were in Reno sitting at a cafe, and Isa wanted to pick Keno numbers and I said yes, all the while explaining to her that Keno has some really dismal odds of winning. After each round of numbers was chosen, the Keno lady would come around the table, and I'd hand her a fresh sheet of numbers that Isa had chosen. She sighed and said, "You need to keep the same numbers! You will never win doing it this way!"
I smiled and didn't say anything and she left with our new numbers.
I looked over at Isa and asked,"Do you think if an 11 was chosen this time around, it has any bearing on whether or not an 11 is chosen the next game?"
"No," she replied.
"Do you think if we keep using the same numbers it increases our chances of winning?"
"I don't think it makes a difference," she said.
"Nice," I said, and then we promptly lost again. It's important to me that everyone knows the Keno lady is wrong.

Simplify This

    (a+x)(b-x)(c+x)(d-x) ... (z-x)

"Simplify" means that the solution can be written using fewer characters than the problem itself uses.

factor this

x^4 - 11x^2 + 1

First prize is an Amazon gift certificate for one hundred dollars, decreasing in value by one dollar for each minute the problem remains unsolved. If it takes more than one hour forty minutes, you owe me money.

The Locker Puzzle

This is my favorite puzzle.

A hallway in a school has 100 lockers. A student runs down the hall and opens every locker. A second student runs down the hall and closes every other locker, starting at the second. A third student runs down the hall and "flips" every third locker, starting at the third - if the locker is open, he closes it; if it's closed, he opens it.

A total of 100 students run down the hall, opening and closing lockers. In general, the n-th student flips every n-th locker.

After all 100 students run through the hall, which lockers are open?

Just a Log

Over the years, I've been taking math courses at various universities. With each step through the sequence, I happily enroll in the next course, thinking, 'now THIS is going to be the course with all math majors in it, no complainers, no one whining about too much homework or too many chapters being covered.'
I was sure the proofs class at Cal State this fall was a sure winner, especially when the professor (from Russia!) asked how many math majors there were in the class and a sea of hands erupted. I was in math heaven. I'll just sum up the course by saying I've never seen such a bunch of math prima donnas in my entire life. Obsessed with test scores and what the grader gave them on homeworks; complaining the book was too hard.
YOU ARE A MATH MAJOR. MATH IS HARD.
Tonight was the last class. Our last proof (which the class tried to get out of, by getting Prof to do a review, but he refused) was a grand proof, the Bolzano-Weierstrass Theorem, which simply states: Every bounded infinite subset of the set of real numbers has an accumulation point. Beautiful, beautiful stuff. Or at least I thought so until the class got restless because it was three minutes until the end of class. "But I'm not done yet," Professor said. "Just let me finish. You'll see this is a really nice finish."
He had chalk all over his face, he was rushing, he had an inequality on the board, and then if the class was any indication, he did the unthinkable. To get rid of a power, he took a log.
That's right, he took a logarithm of both sides.
The class went wild. "A log!" some cried.
"That's it," I heard someone mutter in disgust. A few stormed out of the room, and there was practically a fistfight in the back. "This is BULLSHIT!" a man near me hissed to the class. 'A LOG! It isn't FAIR!"
The professor looked at the now-talking-loudly class and said, "What happened? I just took a log!"