Airport Security Blows
I only fly a few times a year. So a recent visit to Newark Airport was my first encounter with the Smiths Detection Sentinel II. In Googling the machine later, I learned that it is able to analyze microscopic particles off of people for traces of explosives or narcotics. At the time, though, all I knew was to step on the two yellow footprints. A robot voice spoke. And then jets of air shot out at me from both sides. It was kind of fun.Stepping out, I said to the agent on duty, "Next time I'll get the hot wax."
He did not respond.
So, either:
—My comment wasn't amusing
—He's heard a variation of it a million times
—Airport security is no laughing matter. (Even in the pre-9/11 years, I got hassled at the Seattle Airport for taking a photo of a sign that said that joking wasn't permitted.)
Regardless, my feelings were hurt. And I am extra vulnerable when separated from my belt and shoes.
Labels: airport security, jokes
posted by Jack Silbert at
4:13 PM
5 Comments:
A month after 9-11 I was in Newark and some guy in the security line in front of me said, "I don't have a bomb in there!" and laughed. Before he'd finished his sentence, those TSA guys had him on the floor, and were dragging him into a room.
The TSA screeners may not care for jokes, but they always seem to appreciate a thank you and a smile.
The hot wax comment is funny. They should put some kind of nice scent in those jets to freshen things up a bit.
TSA dudes SHOULD lighten up. Afterall, they get to go through people's bags.
They really do hear those jokes a million times a day. Still, I respect the effort!
To quote Jerry Seinfeld, "This Eistein has chosen to stand in front of X-rays 14 hours a day." Maybe that's why so many airport security guards are brain dead.
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