Portmanteau, Part Deux
We love our portmanteau words here at Salt in Wound. But with great power comes great responsibility. So I believe we must also serve as Portmanteau Police, seeking out infractions of the form.
Case in point: A radio commercial for the Subaru Forester that I'm guessing is not airing in the greater Topanga area. The voice talent mentions that the vehicle is "perfect for snow and mud, or the very common smud."
Oh, sure, "smud" is fun to say, and calls to mind "smog" (smoke + fog), which I think they do have in the greater Topanga area. But it places entirely too much emphasis on the mud half of the equation. No, the word that should've been used in this instance is snud.
And I'm sure William Safire agrees with me.
Case in point: A radio commercial for the Subaru Forester that I'm guessing is not airing in the greater Topanga area. The voice talent mentions that the vehicle is "perfect for snow and mud, or the very common smud."
Oh, sure, "smud" is fun to say, and calls to mind "smog" (smoke + fog), which I think they do have in the greater Topanga area. But it places entirely too much emphasis on the mud half of the equation. No, the word that should've been used in this instance is snud.
And I'm sure William Safire agrees with me.
Labels: advertising, portmanteaus, sports utility vehicles
posted by Jack Silbert at
3:04 PM
15 Comments:
I just paid 4.33 per gallon for some gas.
Snow and mud does not exist in combination. Snow requires frozen ground. Mud requires unfrozen ground. Obviously written by a team that doesn't get outside much.
Oh sure, NOW you tell me, Frank, after I spend $40,000 launching my new website:
http://www.snowandmud.com/forum/
Not to mention the $25K I dropped on
http://www.smud.org/
I always liked "clousy," cloudy and lousy, which I of course made up.
These should be called combonyms, which is much nicer than "portmanteau word."
Here's a good portmanteau I learned today:
cultivar
I have an 82 year old great aunt in jersey city that says "fugly" -- that never gets old.
Addled: We could call them portmanturds....
p.s. Amy, if i may pause the non-stop hilarity for a moment: If your great aunt ever requires any assistance of any kind, I am one town over.
Like "Harold and Maude" type assistance? Heh heh.
You are a nice guy, Jack. I couldn't do it to you, though. There are actually 3 of them, combined ages: 256 years and if you stacked them vertically they wouldn't even be 15 feet high. Oh, and they all say fugly.
Still, if need arises, or seems like it might arise, well, email me at jacksilbert at yahoo and i'll provide better contact info. At the very least it seems like i could get a sitcom idea out of it.
GREAT AUNT #1: Jack, bend down where I can see you. What are you, one of those New York Knickerbockers?
JACK (sighs): I'm only 5'9".
GREAT AUNT #2: Well, to us, you're not Jack--you're the beanstalk!
[laugh track]
GREAT AUNT #3: Anyhoo darling, why is a nice tall boy like you still single? I hear that Rosalie on the 3rd floor is available. Though she'd need a stepladder with you, King Kong.
JACK: You know who I actually kind of like is that girl on the first floor...you know the one--
ALL THREE: FUGLY!!!!!!!!
[laugh track, end scene]
Hahahaha! That works.
Portmanturd - brilliant!!
So I was just watching TV and they had a commercial for a new McDonald's chicken sandwich with pickles on top. Should the combonym/portmanturd for that be a Chickle or a Picken? Probably the latter so as not to be confused with chickle.
Jack.. You must know my Aunts The only thing missing is a few more f-bombs. AND they refer to everyone like this "Jack the Stalk" as opposed to Annie's gay neighbor who she referred to as "Jack the Flame" (to his face no less). Here's a real dialogue :
Mary - "What ever happened to Jack the Flame, Annie?"
Annie - "He moved to Rockaway"
Mary - "Oh, just a block away?"
Nettie - "Turn on your fuckin hearing aid Mary, she said ROCKAWAY"
Call me when you cast these parts.
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