This Charmin Man
I just bought toilet paper at the CVS Pharmacy. I had used my last squares earlier in the day. It felt a little weird buying just toilet paper, but I couldn't think of anything else I needed. (It is a spartan existence I lead.) Still, I couldn't quite shake that old "I'll take the Trojan-brand product...and this pack of M&M's" urge. Throw the clerks off the trail of my shopping excursion's primary purpose. Did I need a greeting card? Chew toy? Cuticle scissors? But then it hit me: I could conduct this one-item transaction without shame. The cashier would not be condescendingly thinking, "Now here's a guy who has to go to the can!" Because if I really, really needed to go to the bathroom, I wouldn't be stopping to purchase toilet tissue.
No. I'd be ducking into the Barnes & Noble.
No. I'd be ducking into the Barnes & Noble.
Labels: shame, toilet paper
posted by Jack Silbert at
6:32 PM
6 Comments:
Um, did you also ask for a pint of Old Harper?
Did you use your ExtraBucks (TM)?
I would have jazzed it up a little. A roll of toilet paper, a bottle of ex-lax, and, say, a syringe.
I did in fact use $1.50 in ExtraBucks! Oh how i love those ExtraBucks.
How quaint of you to think that the CVS clerks would want to be on your trail.
Of course, I meant to say how charmin' of you.
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