Diverticulitis

It's the diagnosis I got yesterday, but I've been having the same abdominal pain on and off for about seven years. When it first happened, I was living in Northern California and went to see a doctor who specialized in treating pilots and all things aviation related. He prescribed Prevacid, describing it as a miracle drug. I could only imagine it helped his pilots "hold it" on long flights. It did nothing for me.
Years later, I saw a highly recommended gastroenterologist at Cedar-Sinai. He raved about how, on certain islands, the natives crap five or six times a day, their bodies are loaded with bacteria but they're FINE. He gave me no tests and sent me on my way.
Every once in a while, I would go on antibiotics for some unrelated reason, and my stomach would clear up. Other than that, I was in some degree of pain. Smoking marijuana would alleviate a lot of the symptoms, but how long could I tolerate the side effects of enhanced creativity and a general sense of well being?
Last week I had what I now realize was an acute attack. Sunday, Bernie finally convinced me to get it checked out. So I drove on over to the Old Actors Home.
The Motion Picture & Television Fund Hospital in Woodland Hills is an amazing place. I can drop in with my Writers Guild card anytime and pay ten dollars to see a doctor (it's a generous plan and one reason I wasn't so exited about the recent strike).
My regular doctor wasn't there yesterday, but I got the guy on call in about ten minutes. He had an odd, somewhat ghoulish bedside manner and an intellectual curiosity I've found to be rare in doctors. He asked all the right questions, then shared his suspicions. He said one of the causes of diverticulitis is a childhood diet high on processed foods and low on fiber. Here was my childhood diet:
Cheerios (Rice Krinkles came later)
Hamburgers (cheese came later)
Macaroni and Cheese (preceding the cheese on hamburgers by a good few years)
The doctor said the short term treatment is antibiotics. When I told him how antibiotics have helped me in the past, he practically jumped out of his chair with excitement. "Fascinating!" he boomed. He ordered up some tests right away. But then his mood darkened.
In rare cases, surgery is required, he warned, when there's an abscess that won't go away. He leaned forward, fully engaged, as if ready to spring--the same position he would soon take to check my prostate. "It's a messy surgery," the doctor began eagerly, "as is any operation involving the bowels..."
Down the hall, in radiology, I was completely unprepared for what happened next. It was a CAT scan, preceded by a barium enema, administered by a man who was terrified I was going to shit on the table.
"You're going to feel like you have to go to the bathroom," he said, as he blew up a balloon in my ass. "You can't do it."
"Are you fucking kidding me?" I said, panicked. "I'm here for my stomach, it's not good, it's bad, this is crazy. I can't make any promises."
"You can't do it."
"Does it happen sometimes? Here on the table?"
"It happens."
Well, I held it like a pilot on Prevacid. The doctor got the results, and it confirmed his hypothesis. I have diverticulitis (but not the dreaded abscesses). I got the meds from the pharmacy on site, and I was out of the hospital within a couple hours of my arrival. The fact that all this happened on the same day is amazing to me.
A final note: While I was getting my blood taken, I asked the technician about the big new building. Bernie and I had been wondering what it was while it was being built. He said it's a gym with an indoor pool, for the residents and employees. And it was paid for by Jodie Foster. Has anyone heard anything about this? As far as I know, she hasn't sought a bit of publicity.
Labels: breakfast cereal, health, Jodie Foster, poop

42 Comments:
I can't help but comment on a few interesting things here. Let me say before that, however, I am glad you are not suffering from the kind that requires the horrific surgery
First, Cheerios were a big part of my childhood diet as well. I've already got G.E.R.D (otherwise known as acid reflux) so I'm hoping the diverticulitis steers clear. Pravacid did ZERO for me. Protonix is my wonder drug.
Second, this blog has had "poop" as a tag twice this last few days. Is there a trend starting here?
Third, Bernie and I had an in depth discussion about sewage pipes today. Maybe there is just something in the air.
i've been thinking about that. all of our issues around the house have been septic-related, and now this. i usually look at the existing labels and use what applies. poop applied!
i also looked carefully at the labels to jack's last post. i could have used "regular" but "regulars" seemed like a reach.
Here I had thought your marijuana prescription was for malaise.
Curiously, the wikipedia entry on "malaise" jumps right into the adminstration of first aid:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malaise
Great story, but it would be just a tiny bit better if Jodie Foster had given you the barium enema.
People, please eat fiber. Fiber comes from plant material.
i didn't know jodie foster in college (she was a freshman when i was a senior), but there were two times after i graduated that a crazy woman screamed excitedly at me from a car on sunset blvd. i looked at her blankly both times, then later realized it was jodie foster.
I was with John one of those times. He exagerates slightly - she wasn't screaming excitedly. It was, I think, 1982. We were in John's old Audi Fox (a black eye on the brand name that Audi has been trying hard, and quite successfully, to live down ever since). This Audi was pretty much the color of dog crap. Anyway, we were driving east on Sunset at night somewhere around the Fairfax area. Don't remember where we were going but have my suspicions. John driving - we're in the right lane (John's always bin somewhat cautious at the wheel). We are at a stoplight and a black Porsche pulls up next to us. I glance over and there are a couple of foxy young women in the car (blondes both). Suddenly, the one in the passenger seat starts waving and smiling and pointing at John! Holy Shit! Then I realize it's Jodie Foster. John, I say, Jodie Foster is waving at you! I'm very excited - instantly convinced this could lead somewhere very interesting. I was, at the time, blissfully unaware of Ms. Foster's sexual preferences. John barely glances over, gives a somewhat embarrassed sort of quarter-smile (it looked more like he had gas) and a bit of the royal wave, and looks straight ahead for the light to turn green. The Porsche speeds off. John, I exclaim, why didn't you say something or roll the window down or something? Jesus!! My dreams of a really interesting evening (and maybe marriage to Jodie Foster - my marriage, not John's) ignited and extinguished in virtually less than 15 seconds. I don't remember what he said.
Actually, I just realized we were on Wilshire - not Sunset.
and that she was screaming her fucking head off!
Jodie Foster reacted to you that way, as I remember it, because as a freshman she saw the comedy revues that you and Michael Kaplan put on, and loved them. Is that correct?
Why did you snub her when you were driving on Wilshire?
How could John even know she recognized him? What if she thought he was somebody else?
she may have thought i was someone else. she did come to one of my shows in college.
Robert,
It was obvious that she recognized John because of the very successful and critically touted comedy revues that he, Michael Kaplan, and others had put on at Yale. Remember, at that point, he was also costarring in those productions. The reason John "snubbed" her is because he is a geek. : )
As I remember it, she didn't just come to one of your shows: you heard through the grapevine that she loved your show.
Totally unrelated: I like how the word diverticulitis has parts that sound sort of like divert and tickle right in the middle of it. It's like those cute little bacteria are diverting you by tickling the insides of your intestines!
I think she was just making fun of your car.
I found some information about diverticulitis. Check it out!
I was also recently diagnosed with diverticulitis and am pretty bummed as I've had 4 attacks in 2 months. But, I wanted to thank you for making me laugh today. :)
hi
can anyone help me
i have tried for over a week now to get a loan,i have very bad credit history mainly due to a failed marrage ,i have had all the usual ,wh loans,advantage loans ,yes loans ,get in touch and promise a [url=http://www.usainstantpayday.com]bad credit loans[/url] on paying the brokerage fee,i am reluctant due to reviews on the net and i have been stung before by a company called wentorth finance ,and never got the loan of the 50 pound fee back,
i have had an offer from flm but need a gaurantor which isnt really an option either .
i wondered if anyone had any loan companys that considered bad credit ,but loaned direct without these numerous sites with different alias but mainly did same thing pay us and we will get u loan (maybe)senario
has anyone also heard of a company called fresh loans they have they sent me details out but the may be a charge but not always ,i suspect she didnt want to tell me there was a charge
thanks
skydayNenny
[url=http://cpcheat.org/]Club Penguin Codes[/url] gives you a [url=http://cpcheat.org/club-penguin-money-maker/]Club Penguin Money Maker[/url] that permits you to gain a lot of coins in Club Penguin.
[url=http://cpcheat.org/]Club Penguin Cheats[/url] also gives you [url=http://cpcheat.org/club-penguin-trackers/]Club Penguin Trackers[/url] such as a [url=http://cpcheat.org/club-penguin-aunt-arctic-tracker/]Club Penguin Aunt Arctic Tracker[/url], a [url=http://cpcheat.org/club-penguin-cadence-tracker/]Club Penguin Cadence Tracker[/url], a [url=http://cpcheat.org/club-penguin-gary-tracker/]Club Penguin Gary Tracker[/url], a [url=http://cpcheat.org/club-penguin-band-tracker/]Club Penguin Band Tracker[/url], a [url=http://cpcheat.org/club-penguin-rockhopper-tracker/]Club Penguin Rockhopper Tracker[/url], and a [url=http://cpcheat.org/club-penguin-sensei-tracker/]Club Penguin Sensei Tracker[/url].
Last,[url=http://cpcheat.org/]Club Penguin Codes[/url] gives you [url=http://cpcheat.org/club-penguin-bots/]Club Penguin Bots[/url] and [url=http://cpcheat.org/]Club Penguin Mission Cheats[/url] and [url=http://cpcheat.org/]Club Penguin Coin Cheats[/url]
loved las vegas? checkout the all reborn [url=http://www.casinolasvegass.com]casino[/url] las vegas at www.casinolasvegass.com with on the other side of 75 up to girlfriend unstinting [url=http://www.casinolasvegass.com]online casino[/url] games like slots, roulette, baccarat, craps and more and vanquish existent cat with our $400 emancipated bonus.
we from unvaried safer games then the pass‚ online [url=http://www.place-a-bet.net/]casino[/url] www.place-a-bet.net!
[color=#58a]Hi
With the continuing rise in popularity of tagged poker chips as a virtual currency in zynga texas holdem poker many thieves have engaged themselves, who try their best to trick unsuspecting players out of their hard earned yahoo poker chips. All over the internet forums are littered with posts by innocent people who have had their chips stolen. Nothing is as sorry state as logging to Facebook or MySpace to play a few hands of poker only to find that your account is hacked and your poker chips are gone.[/color]
[url=http://www.chipshut.com][img]http://www.chipshut.com/img/facebook-poker-chips-hut.jpg[/img][/url]
[color=#58a]Keep these basic things in mind to protect your facebook poker chips:
Never give your password to a stranger: Trust is a delicate thing that takes a long time to build but only second to destroy. You may meet a sexy girl in poker room and you are friends with him/her. He/she will keep interacting with you days before playing her trick. So be carefull enough to protect your login credentials to yourself, else this may lead to disaster.
Be careful about what you download: Serious online gamers are looking for cheats or hacks for the games they play in order to give them an edge on their opponents. Poker is no different and there are plenty of sites on the internet touting facebook poker cheats and hacks for those brave enough to download and install them. But many of these so called facebook poker cheats have viruses or trojan programs. The moment you install any of these your computer is at the risk of attacks by the creator of the program. He can then have access to vital information that you access from your computer. Leaving your facebook poker account at risk of been hacked. If you never downloaded any of these programs then you’re probably safe, and if you have then you should run a spyware detection program. The best move will be for get your computer formatted to avoid any loop holes.
Phishing Links: This way of hacking has been thee for quite sometime now. Phishers send legitimate and official looking emails to your inbox. When you open them you are asked to click on the link and login in order to save your account or win free facebook poker chips, but in reality you are logging into a fake site that sends your information off to the phisher who made it. Before you find it out, its too late to react and they would have already broken into your account and emptied it of any facebook poker chips that you may have.
YouTube scams: If you do a search on youtube for facebook poker cheats, zynga poker hacks, or free facebook poker chips you’ll find hundreds of videos on the topic. More than 90% of them are made by idiots hoping to convince you to send them your account information. They range from slightly clever to completely moronic.
Image Photo Having Exe Embedded In it: This one is hard to catch. This is the latest fashion that is used by hacker, you will be asked to share family photo's. When you open their photo, that will innitiate an exe in the background which will steal all your information and send to the mastermind behin it. So be careful with whom you share photos.
Hope these tips help you saving your chips.
These tips have been brought to you by [/color][url=http://www.chipshut.com]Chips Hut[/url][color=#58a] if you are looking to buy [/color][url=http://www.chipshut.com]facebook poker chips[/url], [color=#58a]you may go to our online store.
Thanks[/color][img]http://www.chipshut.com/img/chips-hut-smily.gif[/img]
Im looking at buying an ebook reader from amazon and I need somebody to tell me the differences between the apple ipad and the kindle (I know the ipad isnt available on amazon yet [img]http://www.freesmileys4u.info/pics/O/e.gif[/img])
Sorry if this is in the wrong place, I'm new to this!
Just found a competition to win an apple iPad at http://www.ipadbuy.org/win_ipad_laptop_tablet so i thought i'd share it.
The survey only took 30 seconds, its worth a go at least :)
hello! acquire mac shred torrents here
http://www.gamingmajor.com
Hello, as you may already noticed I am new here.
In first steps it is really good if someone supports you, so hope to meet friendly and helpful people here. Let me know if I can help you.
Thanks in advance and good luck! :)
According to one of the uploaders the following changes have been made to build 7227
1. Changes in the mechanism for displaying thumbnails in the taskbar.
2. Pop-Up lists for the panel
3. Pop-Up lists for Remote Desktop
4. Applying the settings of the taskbar
5. Multitouch zoom
6. Invert selection
7. You can search for music by artist
8. View the contents of the search results
9. Intelligent indexing after installation
10. Reducing the length of playback sounds system
11. Changes in the panel Devices and Printers
12. Changes in the mechanism of extraction devices
13. Support for FireWire-cameras
14. Reduction in section in system
15. Improved driver support
16. Reducing the paging file
17. Assigning a letter to boot with two OS loaded
18. Naming the section reserved for the system.
There are rumors out there that this build could be fake and that build 7230 will be leaked tomorrow evening.
to know how the new SP looks and to see the screen shots visit [url=http://technoages.com/operating-system/windows-7-operating-system/windows-7-sp1-leaked-check-out-all-the-new-features-of-windows-7-service-pack-1/]this pageabout windows 7[/url]
Watch Gossip Girl Online For Free - Gossip Girl Streaming Online
[CENTER][URL="http://www.gossip-girl.watch-movies-and-series-online.com"][IMG]http://www.youronlinemovies.net/includes/public/images/movies/gossip-girl.png[/IMG][/URL]
Hi [B]Upper East Siders[/B]!
Come And Welcome to my website: [B][URL="http://gossip-girl.watch-movies-and-series-online.com"][B]Gossip Girl[/B][/URL][/B]
Whether you’re a Hampton Baby, Central Park [B]Prada[/B] gal, or you even dwell in *[B]gasp[/B]* Brooklyn, [I]this site is for you.[/I]
Why? The answer’s easier than deciding [B]what to wear[/B] tomorrow to school.
[B]Because [/B]my website has [B]all [/B]the latest [B]gossip[/B] about [B]Serena[/B], [B]Blair, Dan [/B]and the other poor little rich kids on the Upper East Side.
[/CENTER]
good daypeople this is a great forum hope im welcome :)
like gambling? ardour las vegas? inspection the all corresponding methodically [url=http://www.casinolasvegass.com]casino[/url] las vegas at www.casinolasvegass.com with beyond 75 pseud exaggerated [url=http://www.casinolasvegass.com]online casino[/url] games like slots, roulette, baccarat, craps and more and be run-of-the-mill existent notes with our $400 cost-free bonus.
we be long-standing unvaried recovered games then the superannuated online [url=http://www.place-a-bet.net/]casino[/url] www.place-a-bet.net! few more free casino games and free [url=http://www.2010-world-cup.info]casino bonus[/url] you can find at the 2 new [url=http://www.buy-cheap-computers.info]casino[/url] guides : www.2010-world-cup.info and www.buy-cheap-computers.info .
Buy online generic medicine from [url=http://allergyrxstore.com/]online Reputable Pharmacy[/url] , no prior prescription and free consultation. On our drug from [url=http://allergyrxstore.com/] medstore[/url] you can [url=http://allergyrxstore.com/]buy online generics[/url] Periactin .
Nice webpage.
We offer carpet cleaning in London carried out by professional carpet cleaners.
Our cleaning technicians are experienced and dependable.
Find out more about our [url=http://www.cleanerlondon.com/office-cleaning-london.php]carpet cleaning[/url] services.
It's so easy to choose high quality [url=http://www.euroreplicawatches.com/]replica watches[/url] online: [url=http://www.euroreplicawatches.com/mens-swiss-watches-rolex/]Rolex replica[/url], [url=http://www.euroreplicawatches.com/mens-swiss-watches-breitling/]Breitling replica[/url], Chanel replica or any other watch from the widest variety of models and brands.
Buy online generic drug from [url=http://allergyrxstore.com/]online Drugstore[/url] , no prior prescription and free consultation. On our drug from [url=http://allergyrxstore.com/]online Reputable Pharmacy[/url] you can [url=http://allergyrxstore.com/]buy online generic[/url] Allegra .
Coach is a superior American designer of luxury goodies, all the way from handbags coach handbags to jewelry and sunglasses to shoes. The coach gives 1 of the most popular and brilliant designer handbags and accessories on the market name. They are distributed through Coach 400 stores and more than 1200 joint U.S. retail. As a result of strong marketplace competition, [url=http://www.discountoncoach.com]coach online store[/url] website, as well as retailers are encouraging and offering Coach handbags outlet coupons for reduced prices. These coupons are emailed to clients or it can be exploited by visiting the discount coupons offered by the company websites. You can easily find websites offering a Coach Outlet Coupon through the popular search engines. What you need to do is simply type the words "Coach Discounted Coupons" and you will get a list of sites from where you can avail promotional or discounted coupons for the purpose of buying purses and handbags of you desired brand. Some other search terms which can help you to find out a Coach Outlet Coupon include "coach shoes discount", "coach coupon codes", "coach promo codes", "coach discount handbags", "coach promotional codes", "coach purses discount", "coach bags discount", and "coach bag coupons".
To shop for fashionable [url=http://www.discountoncoach.com/coach/leather-bags]Coach Leather Bags[/url], visit [url=http://www.discountoncoach.com/coach/handbags]Coach Handbags[/url] Online Store. We give you best in the world and that too at very high discounted rate.
cam dating [url=http://loveepicentre.com/]usa meet singles[/url] adult dating sex sites http://loveepicentre.com/ black dating free services
canada drugs topamaxf m pharmacy new york viagra
[url=http://www.bebo.com/buylevitraonline1]buy dream levitra online pharmaceutical[/url]
Hi, as you can see this is my first post here.
Hope to get some help from you if I will have some quesitons.
Thanks in advance and good luck! :)
free personals gay chat profiles uk [url=http://loveepicentre.com/]biker singles[/url] australia singles http://loveepicentre.com/ advice dating parent single
Hi,
I am new here..First post to just say hi to all community.
Thanks
Exceptional web site!
Most everyone wants to get insurance at one time or another, whether it is
auto insurance, life insurance, health insurance, or homeowners insurance.
These times it is more simplified than ever to find free insurance quotations from several
businesses in order to find the best bargain. You can also see how to redeem
a lot of money in free petrol when you obtain your insurance cost quotations.
[url=http://freeinsurancequoteshq.com]Insurance price quotes[/url]
http://freeinsurancequoteshq.com
[url=http://www.weddingringsforever.com/]Tungsten Wedding Rings[/url]
http://freeinsurancequoteshq.com/home/compare-house-insurance-for-free.html
Post a Comment
<< Home