order of operations
You've all heard about Heath Ledger. He realized he was the fifth best Bob Dylan and went into a fatal spiral. So what's your first move if you find him clinging to life and time is of the essence? According to Perez Hilton, you call Mary-Kate Olsen:
A masseuse, Diana Wolozin, arrived to give Mr. Ledger a massage at about 2:45 p.m. At 3 p.m., after Mr. Ledger did not emerge from his bedroom, with the door closed, the masseuse called him on his cellphone but got no answer. She saw him laying in bed. She took a massage table out of the closet and began to set it up near his bed. She then went over to him and shook him, but got no response. Using his cellphone, she used a speed-dial button to call Mary-Kate Olsen in California to seek her guidance, knowing Ms. Olsen to be a friend of Mr. Ledger’s. She told Ms. Olsen that Mr. Ledger was unconscious. Ms. Olsen said she would call some private security people she knew in New York, and hung up. Ms. Wolozin again shook Mr. Ledger, called Ms. Olsen a second time, and said she believed the situation was grave and would call 911.Finding him unconscious would have seemed grave to me. And this timeline makes no sense:
Ms. Wolozin called 911 at 3:26 p.m. to say that Mr. Ledger was not breathing. The call occurred less than 15 minutes since she had first seen him in bed and only a few moments after the first call to Ms. Olsen. The 911 operator urged Ms. Wolozin to try to revive Mr. Ledger, but Ms. Wolozin’s efforts were not successful.In the end, we're left with a nightmarish vision of celebrity culture gone mad, one where pint sized wee talents command private security forces from across the country equal to those of the city of New York:
Emergency medical workers arrived at 3:33 p.m., at almost exactly the same moment as a private security guard summoned by Ms. Olsen. The medical workers moved his body to the floor and then used a defibrillator and CPR, to no avail. Mr. Ledger was pronounced dead at 3:36 p.m. By that point, two other private security guards summoned by Ms. Olsen had arrived, as had police officers.So maybe Mary-Kate Olsen isn't such a bad person to call in a crisis after all.
Labels: celebrity deaths, mortality, show business
posted by John Levenstein at
6:20 PM
12 Comments:
When I heard he died, I knew I'd heard his name but couldn't picture a face to go with it. He hadn't registered at all with me, so I was surprised it got such heavy press. Then I looked at the list of his roles at IMDB, and realized I haven't seen a single movie that he's been in. Not one.
(This post stumped me. It reads like a John post in a lot of ways, but the sentence he realized he was the fifth best Bob Dylan and went into a fatal spiral seemed over the top, even for John. So then I thought maybe Chris, because I don't know Chris well enough to know whether he'd write something that cold. I'm glad to find it's John; our friendship is strong enough to survive a little more disillusionment on my part.)
While I am sad about Mr. Ledger's untimely demise, I'm kinda pumped about moving up one notch on the list of NYC's most eligible bachelors.
Robert,
First off, I'm glad to know that when it comes to "cold" I'm the first guy that pops into your mind. As for your assessment that John's statement regarding Mr. Ledger being the 5th best Dylan was over the top, I have to say... welcome to the gallows humor of a Hollywood writer's room. Nothing is sacred.
Now on to what I had originally intended to post...
This is why I've always said you have to call Ashley first. She's the more responsible one.
Chris, my "over the top" comment was unfortunate. I was looking for a way to write a "Guess the Poster" entry that was more interesting than "I thought John wrote it" and that's all I could come up with. I wasn't all that outraged.
I'm familiar with the gallows humor of the Writer's Room. It's the same in our "Programmers Rooms". Just yesterday we had this discussion:
Program Lead: Any ideas for a codename for this project?
Programmer: Petunia? Neptune?
Programmer 2: How about calling it "Heath Ledger Killed Himself Because He Was Only The Fifth Best Dylan"?
Everyone But One Girl Programmer In The Back: laughs uncontrollably
Girl Programmer In The Back: Too soon.
Good enough for me. But make no mistake, Robert, regardless of your intent, I was proud to have been first on the suspect list.
Now, I will open the "inner me" and share a more human side. Fuck, why would I do that? I guess it's the baby. She's mushing me up inside these days with all the cuteness. Bitch.
I did spend a good twenty minutes or so on the phone with my sister from Ohio yesterday lamenting Heath's untimely passing. I truly think he was a real talent. A cut above many of the other actors in his peer group whom I find egregiously lacking in talent.
Obviously, Brokeback Mountain showed the level of depth he had as an actor to bring such complexity and soul to what could've become a cartoonish role in the wrong hands. But also, from what I've seen of the new Batman movie (the trailer mainly) his performance as the Joker looks inspired. Darker and more twisted than Nicholson' Joker in the Tim Burton version.
Oh, Heath... Goodnight you Prince of Perth, you King of Australia.
Fucking baby. Blame the baby. Please blame the baby.
he's lucky richard gere was in the movie, or he would have been sixth.
i've seen reports that no illegal drugs were found. could the security guard have gotten to them first? i would think the body being moved to the floor, the defibrillator and cpr would have provided ample distraction.
John, maybe there really were no illegal drugs.
Chris, I'd feel the same way about Lindsey Lohan if it was her, as you do about Heath Ledger. IMHO she's the real thing (witness Mean Girls) and I'd love to see her come back.
if there were no illegal drugs, what was the situation olsen's security team could manage better than 911?
It's seeming that 911 was trying to make the masseuse give a dead man well into rigor mortis CPR. That's gross, and I hope 911 listens to me, if I'm ever in that situation.
John, you're talking about what she would have done if she'd been rational. Maybe she's not rational in general; maybe finding someone close to death made her less rational.
Maybe the masseuse was just remembering the Full House epidsode when Mary Kate discovered Bob Saget passed out and unresponsive.
Post a Comment
<< Home