One Thing Considered
I’m new here, and I’d like to start with a confession: I don’t listen to public radio. This is somewhat of a shock, because I definitely fit public radio's target demographic—smug weaklings. Close friends have tried to sway me, mentioning fascinating tidbits they've heard on This American Life, and Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me, and Studio 360, ad(-free) infinitum. But when I listen to the radio, I really just want to hear music, or baseball, or traffic and weather together on the 8's. (I don’t drive to work so I don’t need the traffic report, but in for a penny, in for a pound.)
I have to be a little more flexible with my shower radio. It is shaped like a duck. Rather than the precision of digital tuning, I must rely on the meaty part of the duck’s wing to find any particular station. It’s an inexact science, and I tend to listen to whatever comes in clearly. I am not ashamed to admit that recently, it's been "the greatest hits of the 60's, 70's, and 80's." OK, maybe a little ashamed.
But over the weekend, the batteries began to die. (And a steady stream of water can't be helping matters.) While the Energizer Bunny banged the drum slowly, the FM signal started to fade. In desperation, I switched over to AM, and for some reason it still came in pretty clearly. (If you're an electrical engineer, maybe you could explain this phenomenon. Then again, I doubt you're reading this.) Quite by chance, I landed on a public radio station. I didn't want to try my luck any further, so there I'll remain till I've squeezed every last drop from those double-A's.
Listening these past several days, I must say that part of the time I'm thinking, "Wow, I've been missing out on some wonderful content for all these years!" Actor David Strathairn reading a short story by Edith Wharton! Will Shortz quizzing a caller on words beginning with "ca" and "r," and nobody's keeping score! I'm going to keep listening, and become a better person—a more concerned member of the global community, with informed, heartfelt opinions! I'll be a smash at cocktail parties!
But soon enough, the broadcasts all blurs into a soft, slow drone of in-depth analysis of arcane topics with extended commentary by the adjunct professor of carbon-neutral studies with a grant from the Geraldine Dodge Foundation and how long are they going to stay on this subject and I miss the traffic chopper and why does this guy have a British accent and I CAN'T STAND IT, I JUST CAN'T STAND IT as Charlie Brown was wont to say.
So I'm cutting my showers short, which is saving a lot of water. As a smug weakling, that is something I can really get behind.
I have to be a little more flexible with my shower radio. It is shaped like a duck. Rather than the precision of digital tuning, I must rely on the meaty part of the duck’s wing to find any particular station. It’s an inexact science, and I tend to listen to whatever comes in clearly. I am not ashamed to admit that recently, it's been "the greatest hits of the 60's, 70's, and 80's." OK, maybe a little ashamed.
But over the weekend, the batteries began to die. (And a steady stream of water can't be helping matters.) While the Energizer Bunny banged the drum slowly, the FM signal started to fade. In desperation, I switched over to AM, and for some reason it still came in pretty clearly. (If you're an electrical engineer, maybe you could explain this phenomenon. Then again, I doubt you're reading this.) Quite by chance, I landed on a public radio station. I didn't want to try my luck any further, so there I'll remain till I've squeezed every last drop from those double-A's.
Listening these past several days, I must say that part of the time I'm thinking, "Wow, I've been missing out on some wonderful content for all these years!" Actor David Strathairn reading a short story by Edith Wharton! Will Shortz quizzing a caller on words beginning with "ca" and "r," and nobody's keeping score! I'm going to keep listening, and become a better person—a more concerned member of the global community, with informed, heartfelt opinions! I'll be a smash at cocktail parties!
But soon enough, the broadcasts all blurs into a soft, slow drone of in-depth analysis of arcane topics with extended commentary by the adjunct professor of carbon-neutral studies with a grant from the Geraldine Dodge Foundation and how long are they going to stay on this subject and I miss the traffic chopper and why does this guy have a British accent and I CAN'T STAND IT, I JUST CAN'T STAND IT as Charlie Brown was wont to say.
So I'm cutting my showers short, which is saving a lot of water. As a smug weakling, that is something I can really get behind.
posted by Jack Silbert at
12:06 PM
6 Comments:
welcome, jack! bernie's take on npr "humor" started a spirited discussion a while ago. i thought maybe her post had a label i could add to yours. so i looked back. her post had a lot of labels, but none that really applied:
http://www.saltinwound.com/2007/12/npr-humor.html
I appreciate technology trying to get into the shower, but I just can't do it myself. hola Jack!
Jack, this is great. Did I mention this is an unpaid gig?
Thanks John, thanks Bernie, thanks Frank! Bernie, the shower radio--in addition to a recently acquired iPod and various magazine articles tucked various pockets--is all part of my master plan to never be left alone with my own thoughts. And Frank, maybe I can get college credit?
The image of you naked and soaking wet, hunched over in the shower fiddling with the wing of a plastic duck while radio static spits out ... wait, I lost my train of thought.
Jack, do I know you? I know many of Frank's friends, but I may need clarification.
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